


Two sides of the same coin

by sweetlikesugar



Series: Dream Pack Adam AU [1]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam never meets Gansey, Dream Pack, Dream Pack Adam AU, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Not Beta Read, THE AU OF MY DREAMS, a lot of smoking, bc duh it's Kavinsky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 23:24:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10627350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetlikesugar/pseuds/sweetlikesugar
Summary: Everyday Richard Gansey saw Adam Parrish in at least two of his classes. He saw the blackish smudges of sleepless nights underneath his eyes, the gaze hollow in a way that goes beyond physical exhaustion, the everpresent tremor of his hands. He sees a diligent, ambitious young man that could take on the world if he only wanted. A young man asking perfect questions and delivering perfect answers. What he cannot understand however is the suffocating bitter stench of cigarette smoke etched to his skin and hair, the way he associated himself with the Aglionby filth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> the AU i wanted but no one gave me, what would happen if Adam met Prokopenko first instead of Gansey. if anyone wants to beta-read it and correct anything please hmu or just hmu on mindlesslittlefreak.tumblr.com  
> 9/4/18 edit- this has been rewritten and edited for the overall quality, imaginery and aesthetic, no major plot changes have been done

They’ve seen him rolling with Kavinsky and his dogs, quiet where they were loud and stoic where they were wild. He wasn’t as distinctive as them, quite plain in comparison actually, and maybe that’s why he stood out so much. At school he was quiet, diligent, he kept to himself. A straight-A student. That’s mostly why Gansey looked at him with some kind of wonder, some kind of regret. He was an enigma of a boy, a puzzle with missing pieces and Gansey wanted to solve him. He desperately yearned to get to the bottom of the mystery that was Adam Parrish. 

 

Ronan knew better. He saw the dormant hunger behind his hollowed eyes, the way he slouched underneath an invisible weight on his shoulders and the darkness that Adam Parrish failed to contain within his own body. He knew Adam was just as vicious, just as cruel and unforgiving as Kavinsky and the rest of his pet monsters. He was holding himself back and Ronan knew he didn’t want to see the full might of his demons.

  
  
  
  


Adam Parrish never thought he’d associate himself with someone of Kavinsky’s kind but at the beginning of the year there was no one willing to associate themselves with Adam Parrish, a trailer park scholarship kid. He wanted to breeze through high school unseen and unrecognised but he should’ve known better. 

 

There is no way to be invisible in Aglionby Academy.

  
  
  


The person he met first wasn’t Kavinsky. It was Prokopenko, tumbling out of the bathroom stall bleary eyed and reeking of marijuana. They held a watery eye contact until a shrill scream of the bell broke their concentration. Proko grinned, crooked and lazy, and after throwing him a messy two-fingered salute he slammed the door behind, leaving Adam alone and late.

 

It seemed to be the catalyst of the chain reaction of events that would make Adam Parrish one of Kavinsky's wolves.

 

Adam Parrish was nothing if not determined. In his destructive desire for perfection he was constantly tearing himself apart and putting himself back together. Pushing away all the vile and ugly parts of himself he hoped to hide, he bared them to the people he never wanted to expose himself to.

  
  
  


He doesn’t know how he ended up at one of Kavinsky’s infamous substance parties but there’s a nervous energy inside him that keeps him restless and on his toes. There’s a hole in his sweater and his hands are shaking but the party is loud, messy and crowded and it’s everything he needed tonight. It was the feeling of anonymity in the crowd of rowdy teenagers, if not for a persistent stare on the back of his neck.

 

Someone bumped into his bruised ribs and he hissed at the tenderness, stumbling to the side dangerously. A hand grips his arm firmly and rights him. 

 

“You alright?”.

 

“Yeah”.

 

A pack of cigarettes shoved under his nose. He takes one to do something about his shaky hands. The flickering light of the flame shows no one other than Prokopenko smiling at him crookedly through the smoke. 

 

“Let’s get you somewhere quiet” he says and Adam lets himself be led to a car and climbs onto the hood after Prokopenko.

 

He shakes his head at the beer bottle offered to him and is content just to stare ahead at the bustling crowd, drunk on the music and the warm air of the night. 

 

“You don’t seem like a party type” Proko takes a swig from the bottle and Adam holds his breath, waiting for the smell of beer to dissipate in the air.

 

“I’m not”. He doesn’t offer explanation and Prokopenko doesn’t demand any but his smile sharpens around the edges and Adam knows he’s been seen through. It doesn’t bother him as much as it should and usually would. 

 

Greedy for another cigarette he reaches out for one but Proko presses the entire pack into his hand, cold skin brushing against Adam’s racing pulse.

 

“Keep them” he winks. “Find me if you need more”.

 

He jumps off the car, fingers raised in the same lazy salute and melts seamlessly into the crowd.

 

Next day at school his limbs throb and his eyes are heavy with exhaustion but at the same time he’s lighter than he’s ever been.

 

He doesn’t go to Prokopenko and almost picks a hole in his uniform to occupy his anxiously fidgeting hands.

  
  
  


“Are you hiding on purpose?” Prokopenko drops an unopened pack in his lap, forehead creased in annoyance. 

 

“I’m not hiding” he says, carefully ripping the foil apart. His gentleness is unnecessary, but he needs something to focus on. “It’s not hiding if no one is looking for you”.

 

Prokopenko raises an amused eyebrow and scoffs. “Well, if you were hiding you’d be terrible at it”. He slides down the wall next to him.

 

“Is that so?”.

 

“Yes it is”. Prokopenko grins widely. “Because you’re so easy to find”.

 

“You’re the only one looking” Adam holds the smoke in his throat until in burns and then keeps it in a bit longer. 

 

Prokopenko laughs, raspy and gravelly, unlike anything Adam has heard from him so far. His eyes are twinkling dangerously. “If that’s what you want to believe, then I’m not stopping you”.

 

He pats Adam’s thigh and gets up with a groan. “I won’t be the only one bugging you from now on. You might want to learn how to keep a conversation going”.

  
  
  


True to his words, it’s not Prokopenko who approaches him days later but Swan. 

 

He sits down next to Adam quietly and takes out a thick book with an unfamiliar cover. He’s reading while Adam is smoking and they part ways after the bell rings. 

  
  


It should be unsettling, how Adam anticipates the meetings with Kavinsky’s pet wolves. Despite his almost desperation, he never initiates them. Which is probably the reason why they stop. Everyday, Adam has to talk himself out of walking up to them in the hallways, bearing the burden of Swan’s expectant stare and Prokopenko’s annoyed glaring. He ignores them, the nicotine hunger clawing at his throat and the expectant flutter in his stomach whenever him and Proko catch a fleeting eye contact across the courtyard. 

 

Prokopenko breaks the tension by angrily storming up to him.

 

“You’re an annoying piece of fuck, Parrish” he hisses, almost catapulting a pack of cigarettes at him. They hit his head with a smack and Proko stuffs his hands deep into the pockets of his defying the school dress code jeans.

 

Adam lights up a cigarette and waits for him to continue.

 

Prokopenko deflates and instead stares at him with his eyes squinted and head tilted like a hunting dog.

 

“Come to the party tonight” he says and drops another pack into Adam’s lap with a flick of the wrist. “It’s not a bribe. Neither a threat. Just for once in your life let yourself do something you want”.

  
  
  
  


He goes to the party against his better judgement. He almost talks himself out of it, but the buzzing under his skin fills him with unease and he needs to leave his own head for a while. He glances quickly at the shark-like glint of Lynch’s headlights but doesn’t think much of it when he hears Prokopenko howl in pure undiluted excitement.

 

“I told you he’d come” he grins and Adam can’t shake off the sticky feeling that he bit off more than he can chew.

 

“Congratulations” Skov rolls his eyes, eyelids hanging heavily from the spliff he’s holding. “Now check if he can talk”. He’s shorter than Adam. A head, maybe head and a half. His hair is the colour of pink convenience store bubblegum, one that’s full of sugar and pops obnoxiously loud, but Adam knows there’s nothing sweet about the boy in front of him. He doesn’t react at all to Skov’s jab and lights a cigarette instead, staring ahead vacantly.

 

“Wow Proko, you made a friend with a cardboard cutout” Skov sneers and his eyes look significantly more alert than they should, considering how he reeks of marijuana and alcohol. It makes Adam’s stomach twist in the most unpleasant way.

 

Prokopenko slings an arm around his shoulder and he twitches. Not noticeably by any means, but Skov’s eyes glint knowingly and his smirk turns wolfish.

 

“Don’t be a dick, dude” Jiang nudges Skov’s head with a toe of his boot as his leg sways from left to right like a pendulum from where he sits perched on the roof of a car. 

 

Skov bats at his foot absentmindedly but doesn’t say anything to him.

 

“Who did you piss off, Parrish?” Skov pokes underneath his own eye with the filter of his spliff and Adam is suddenly reminded of a huge black eye he has and the finger shaped bruises on his jaw.

 

“Guess” he says, grinding the butt of his cigarette with his sneaker into the ground.

 

“Alright Skov, don’t be an asshole” Proko warns and there’s a hint of steel in his voice.

 

Skov shrugs but he’s still grinning widely. He mockingly salutes Adam and leaves.

 

“It’s like being a dickbag is encrypted in his DNA” Proko sighs lighting Adam’s cigarette.

 

Jiang grins and his eyes turn into crescents. “He sucks so much of them, at least twenty percent of his DNA is dick”.

 

Prokopenko chokes on his beer and just like that they forget about Adam and his bruises, except for Swan who keeps glaring at him for the rest of the party.

  
  


He rejects every drink Proko offers him and finally twists from underneath his arm, smiling when he feels Proko’s hand in his pocket and a slight weight it leaves behind. He can’t shake off the feeling of Swan staring at him and he’s proven right when Swan calls his name, voice soft but stern at the same time. His hands are shaking so he clenches them into fists and hides them under the too long sleeves of his sweater.

 

“You need anything?” he asks and hopes Swan can’t see how nervous he is, but instead Swan keeps looking at him and  _ through  _ him and it’s nerve wracking when every part of your existence is a carefully constructed front. 

 

He hands Adam a slip of paper with his number on it. “In case you need something”.

 

They both know very well an exact situation where Adam would need something from Swan.

 

“I don’t have a phone” Adam shrugs but pockets the number anyway.

  
  


Next few days are filled with Proko’s knowing smiles, greeting nods from Swan, Jiang’s lazy waves and Skov’s sharp smirks. He responds to all except Skov, at whom he only stares dumbly giving the other boy an angry aneurysm everytime he does it. He doesn’t think much of his newly acquired companionship until one day Kavinsky squats down in front of him in the courtyard.

  
  


“So you’re Proko’s newest pet project” he smiles widely. It makes him look less than sane. He’s a caricature of a person, bony and reeking of gasoline and smoke. He has empty ghoulish eyes that are perhaps the most unsettling part of him. He’s looking at Adam like he’s looking for something and he seems to find it, because he leans back satisfied.

 

“Proko will give you a ride to our place today so don’t ditch him” Kavinsky gets up and his knees crack loudly making Adam choke up with disgust. He raises an unconvinced eyebrow at K and the other boy laughs loudly.

 

“You’re going to be so much fun, Parrish”.

  
  
  


Prokopenko does indeed wait for him after his classes hanging out of the window in the driver’s seat.

“Glad you didn’t ditch me”.

 

Adam shrugs and dumps his backpack on the floor.

 

“As chatty as ever I see” Prokopenko sighs and starts the car.

 

“I figured you can talk for both of us”.

 

Prokopenko stares at him blankly and shakes his head. “I can’t tell if you’re joking”.

 

Adam smiles and doesn’t say anything.

  
  
  


When they arrive Adam’s anxious picking made his hands bleed. 

 

“Are you really that nervous?” Prokopenko asks with something similar to concern in his voice. “I’m like sixty-seven percent sure K won’t try to verbally humiliate you. I can’t vouch for Skov though, he’s been pissy since you’ve been ignoring him”. He shrugs and Adam barely suppresses a shiver. 

 

When he walks inside he feels like he’s walking into a wolf’s den.

 

The house is simultaneously everything and nothing he imagined. It’s more like a mansion. It’s spacious but scarcely furnished and it’s made mostly from a surprisingly lightly coloured tiles. He walks into a large living room and is slightly overwhelmed by a variety of a vintage as well as modern machinery. Game consoles, tvs, speaker systems and a myriad of other things Adam doesn’t recognise. There’s even a popcorn machine stuffed into the corner of the room.

 

Everyone is strewn across the room. Jiang and Skov sit on the floor clutching the controllers and bicker mercilessly back and forth in front of the huge tv. Swan is stretched out on one of the plush sofas with a book in his lap. When he hears them come in he sits up a bit straighter, alert, and sweeps his eyes over Adam looking for very specific signs of his well being. He finds them in the finger shaped bruises around his neck, the slight limp and the way he favours his right side. His eyes darken terribly and Adam doesn’t know what to think about it.

 

He feels out of place in his oversized hoodie and ratty sneakers but he doesn’t show it and slumps down on another sofa instead. There’s only one person he’s afraid of and he’s not in this house.

 

Jiang leans back and throws him a casual peace sign from around Skov’s back as a greeting. Skov leans even further back and smiles with mirth and malice at the sight of Adam covered in black-blue splotches. His hair is turquoise today. Adam stares at him with the same dumb empty stare that sends his father into fits of uncontrollable rage.

“Parrish!” Kavinsky hollers as he makes his way downstairs. “How nice of you to join us today”. His cheer is fake and it grates on his nerves. He stares Adam up and down and it makes him feel naked. “You want a beer? A line?”.

 

Adam just keeps staring.

 

“You have to say something at some point Parrish because this whole silent thing is starting to become uber annoying” Skov sneers not once taking his eyes away from the tv as he throws a blue shell at Jiang who screeches and throws his entire body to the side trying to avoid it.

 

Adam doesn’t say anything and raises an eyebrow at Swan who keeps staring at him intensely.

 

“I swear to fuck, is that the only face you can make?”.

 

“I’ll let you know when I get a new fucking face” Adam hisses back.

 

“Daddy’s gonna give you one in a nice shade of purple tonight, huh?” Skov laughs and the tremor in Adam’s hands suddenly stops. Skov snorts at the sheer terror on Adam’s face. “You’re not that subtle Parrish. If you know what to look for, it’s easy to find”.

 

“And how do you know what to look for?” Adam asks slowly, eyeing Skov’s face intensely. His eye twitches and Adam counts it as a win. “You have any first hand experience? Any advice for me except shooting the fucker in the face? I’ll listen. You finally got me talking so now it’s up to you to keep the conversation going”.

 

Kavinsky is looking at him satisfied, as if Adam did something he expected. Skov, on the other hand, is still silent. It’s not a stunned silence and definitely not a scared silence. They’re staring at each other until Skov turns back to face the tv and Adam can see a faint scar on his head underneath his brightly coloured hair. A scar he couldn’t have given to himself.

 

“Fucking annihilated, son” Jiang laughs and yanks at Skov’s hair tugging his head back. “You got some fucking nerve Parrish”.

 

“I told you, you’re going to be so much fun” K grins and Proko winks at him. He stretches lazily in the armchair and throws something at Adam. It’s a phone except it doesn’t have a charging outlet. “A little birdie told me you don’t own a phone”.

 

Adam glares at Swan who stares at him unimpressed.

 

“Now that you’re rolling with us you’re going to need one. You don’t need to charge it and it damage-proof, so you might as well run it over with your fucking trailer”. 

 

Adam takes the jab as gracefully as he can while being hit in the face with a pack of cigarettes.

 

“Also you reek. Take this instead of the cheap shit Proko keeps bribing you with”.

 

“I’m not bribing him” Proko gasps dramatically offended.

 

Jiang hums unconvinced. “Parrish is he bribing you? Blink once for yes, twice for no”.

 

Adam stares straight at Prokopenko and blink slowly, once.

 

Jiang wheezes with laughter and Prokopenko sputters in disbelief.

 

Adam grins, sly and razorsharp before his face smooths back into his usual impassive look. He feels something shift and align inside him. All the ugly, vile parts he tried so hard to push away now entwining smoothly with those he accepted, creating a new dangerous mix of emotions. 

 

For the first time in his life he doesn’t try to push it back.

  
  
  
  


Everyday Richard Gansey saw Adam Parrish in at least two of his classes. He saw the blackish smudges of sleepless nights underneath his eyes, the gaze hollow in a way that goes beyond physical exhaustion, the everpresent tremor of his hands. He sees a diligent, ambitious young man that could take on the world if he only wanted. A young man asking perfect questions and delivering perfect answers. What he cannot understand however is the suffocating bitter stench of cigarette smoke etched to his skin and hair, the way he associated himself with the Aglionby filth, the splashes of blue-black bruises on his jaw and neck and wrists. He sees how Kavinsky grins at Adam, dark and satisfied, how Prokopenko winks and chatters at him like a mischievous sprite, how Swan hovers over him like an omnipresent blanket of protection. 

 

For the life of him Richard Gansey cannot solve the mystery puzzle that is Adam Parrish.

 

Ronan Lynch was fed up with how much Gansey wanted to solve Adam Parrish. Ronan knew what kind of a person was Kavinsky and he knew what kind of people were Kavinsky’s pack of pet devils. If he was being honest, Adam Parrish completed the pack eerily well. Where Swan was stoic and protective, Adam was sluggish but waiting for a moment to strike. He was a sleeping viper just waiting for the right moment to bring you to your knees. Yet Gansey couldn’t see past Adam’s good qualities to see the darkness lurking inside.

 

Richard Gansey was as smart as he was stupid and it was going to kill him one day. 

  
  


When Jiang dragged him for their first “road trip” he didn’t expect to end up in a shitty piercing parlour but maybe he should have. He also didn’t expect Jiang and the owner being on a first name basis but again, he should have.

 

“We’re not leaving until you get something” Jiang said examining the jewellery display.

 

He picked a place he knew wouldn’t get noticed or damaged.

 

“How boring” Jiang whined, leaning over the piercer’s shoulder. “But it’s not the last time, you’ll have a chance to broaden your horizon then”.

 

They drive back in silence disturbed only by the rustle of a McDonald’s bag when Jiang glanced at his bruised wrists.

 

“You know you can move in to K’s house, right?”.

 

Adam choked on his fries and Jiang cursed trying to hit him on the back and drive at the same time.

 

“Only K, Proko and I live there full time. Swan and Skov live in the dorms, at least officially and K has a ton of spare bedrooms anyway. I mean, Swan already mothers you, Proko likes you and obviously so do I and Skov is being an asshole just to get a rise out of you”.

 

“I’ll think about it”.

 

“Please do” Jiang laughs. “Because if Swan sees you beat up again he’s going to follow you home and kill your dad”.

  
  


He didn’t really have time to think about Jiang’s offer for a long time because just a couple weeks later his father caught him sneaking out through the bathroom window. He yanked Adam back by his leg and kicked until the sun came up. After he left for work Adam dragged himself to his room and shot a text to Prokopenko to pick him up. He managed to get up and get out of the house and waited propped against a nearby tree.

 

“Holy shit” Proko recoiled. “When did that happen? What the fuck, is that why you didn’t come over yesterday?”.

 

“Take a wild fucking guess” Adam hissed as he accidently put his weight on the bad ankle.

 

“Holy shit, Swan is going to throw a fit” Prokopenko hauled Adam to the backseat of his car. “Anything broken?”.

 

“I don’t think so. Maybe a twisted ankle, bruised ribs”.

 

“Holy shit”.

 

They stumbled into the house ungracefully, Proko buckling under Adam’s weight and trying to not put any pressure on his bad leg. 

 

Jiang jogged up to them to take half of the weight and helped them topple onto the couch.

 

K didn’t move from the armchair he was occupying and just glanced at Adam from his phone. “That bad?”.

 

“I’ve had worse”.

 

“I don’t doubt it” K murmured and tossed Adam a pack. “I’ll see if we have anything for bruises” he crawled out of the armchair and disappeared upstairs.

 

“Swan is going to murder your dad. Just saying” Jiang grinned.

 

“Where is he anyway?” Proko sat on the floor propping his back on the couch they dropped Adam on.

 

“Went for a ride”. Skov emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water. He slammed it on the table next to the couch and flipped Adam off when he smirked.

 

“You thought about what I said?” Jiang nudged Adam’s uninjured leg. 

 

“About moving here? Not really”.

 

“Wait, you told him he can move in?” Skov groaned, head falling to the armrest of the couch with a thud.

 

“Deal with it asshole, you don’t have a say in this. K has to agree anyway”.

 

“Agree to what?” K yelled from the staircase throwing a nameless tube of something at Jiang who fumbled hysterically, but failed to catch it.

 

“Jiang told Parrish to move in”.

 

“I didn’t tell him to, I told him he could!” Jiang whacked Skov with the tube.

 

“And you’re hoping I’m going to tell him to fuck off?”. Skov nods his head with a grin, outrageously bright hair falling into his eyes. “Then it’s a sad fucking day for you”.

 

Skov’s face fell but his eyes were full of mirth.

 

“Alright Parrish, strip” Jiang waved the tube. “I assume it’s for bruises?”.

 

K nodded and curled back into the armchair.

 

With joint effort they managed to sit him up and Prokopenko gagged at the sight of Adam’s mauled torso. There was hardly any patch of skin that wasn’t damaged in some way.

 

“Jesus Christ, alright. I’ll do his back, you can do chest and stomach”.

 

“That’s what she said” Skov whispered and yelped at the kick aimed at his head.

 

“Uh, is it good on open wounds?” Jiang faltered behind Adam.

 

“Good on everything” K nodded.

 

Halfway through the painful and slow process Swan came home. His face darkened immediately.

 

“Shut up Swan” Skov yelled despite no words being spoken. “You can get mad later, come and help me with his ankle”.

 

The only sound in the room was Adam hissing from time to time and Kavinsky’s phone until they finished. Adam basked in the pleasant sensation of gel cooling and soothing his injuries. He was looking at K and Swan from underneath his lashes, as K tried to talk Swan into or out of something. His attention was redirected to Prokopenko as he gasped.

 

“Since when your navel is pierced? What?!”.

 

“A month maybe? Since the trip with Jiang”.

 

“What the fuck, you took him on a trip? Unfair!”.

 

“Hop off his dick goddamn” Skov groaned, picking at the hole in his jeans.

 

“Don’t worry, we can share it” Proko winked and Skov snorted reaching for the controller.

  
  
  
  
  


After moving what little he possessed into K’s mansion, Adam Parrish lived more and better than he ever had. Nothing changed much other than his overall well being and the significant decrease in bruises and aches. He felt more comfortable and free in his own body, his silence now voluntary instead of forced and expected like it used to be. The change in how he carried himself was both obvious and invisible. He’s still slouching, still tired, but now he’s alert. He demands attention, demands caution. 

 

It was greatly obvious now that he’s on his way to become one of Kavinsky’s most lethal possessions.

 

Richard Gansey and Ronan Lynch saw different aspects of Adam’s internal shift.

 

Gansey only saw the way Adam now seemed to blend perfectly into Kavinsky’s pack of hellhounds, cogs of conflicting personalities now interlocking together seamlessly. He saw how Adam and Swan now held entire conversations with purely one gaze, how well he complimented Jiang’s condescending politeness with his own dry witty malice, how he matched Prokopenko’s energetic mischief, eyes twinkling with just enough harmful intent, how he and Skov swapped insults with just enough truth to be uncomfortably personal. He now saw Adam Parrish as a part of Kavinsky’s inner circle and that worried him.

 

Ronan on the other hand saw how similar Adam and Kavinsky really were, eerily so. Both of them charismatic, innovative and smart. One could think they were two faces of the same coin. Both of them born into rage and poison, but different in the way they dealt with the world. While Kavinsky threw his disdain around for the world to see, Adam internalised it and forged it into a weapon. 

 

Kavinsky was unpredictable in a way that could be predicted. His interactions with the world were loud, crude and aggressive. A giant  “fuck you” directed at anyone who tried to silence him.

 

Adam Parrish was different. He was an incomplete puzzle and no one had the missing pieces. He was cunning, ambitious, ruthless, vicious and determined. He was calm and patient and it filled Ronan with unease.

  
  
  


As much as Adam found comfort in Kavinsky’s pack he still didn’t know where he and Kavinsky stood exactly. He found himself blending well with Henrietta’s most vicious, but when interacting with Kavinsky he felt the ground could give way beneath him any second. He hated being unsure of his association with anyone and being unsure of his association with Kavinsky filled him with dread.

  
  
  


“Let’s go for a ride Parrish” Kavinsky grinned during one of his parties from the driver’s seat of the Mitsubishi, banging his fist on the roof to make Skov get back on the ground. 

 

They glided smoothly through the night, windows rolled down, silent save for the aggressive bulgarian pouring out of Kavinsky’s speakers and clawing at the darkness around them. 

  
  


K left the car and hopped on the hood motioning for Adam to do the same. He held a bright yellow pill in two fingers.

 

“In or out Parrish. Now or never”.

 

Adam took the pill between his teeth, lips catching on K’s smoke stained fingers.

 

Kavinsky howls into the night joyously and he looks every part the demon, the devil, the evil sprite everyone make him out to be. He bares his throat and lets the night caress his skin with eager fingers, smiling like a mad man. His teeth glint like daggers in the cold beam of the moon and Adam feels the gates of hell closing behind his back with a slam.

 

“That’s right Parrish” K grabs his face with both hands, nails digging into his skin anchoring him as the pill dissolves on his tongue like acid and his vision swims and blurs. “You’re one of us now. Ride with us and die with us. Forget your father and forget your trailer. It’s us against the world”.

 

Adam smiles deliriously and the world fades to blackness. 

  
  


He comes to in the backseat of the Mitsubishi as K snorts a line off the dashboard, spine curving and protruding like cogs of an ancient machine under his skin. He wipes his nose and jerks his chin at the swab of bandage on Adam’s wrist.

 

“Ride with us and die with us”. The fire in his eyes dulled down to a mild scorch but there’s still an imprint of the less than sane smile on his lips. It’s softer, if you know where to look for it. He drops a pack of bright yellow cigarettes in his lap and slams the car door behind him.

 

Adam drops his head against the window and breathes in the bitter acidic smoke.

 

The dread is gone and in its place comes K’s manic grin of satisfaction.

  
  
  
  


Watching K mess with Lynch is as amusing as it is pathetic, because Lynch doesn’t rise to the bait in the way K would like him to. Or rather, because Gansey doesn’t let him. Jabs about dogs and leashes go both ways, because if Gansey has Lynch on a short leash, K has them all on chains and ropes, letting them create mayhem wherever they go as long as they come back to him at one point. The tattoo on his wrist shows as much, a brand as plain as it can be. It doesn’t bother him as much as it should and instead creates a sense of belonging he yearned for his whole life.

 

It manifests in Swan’s protective glare on his back, Jiang’s road trips to shady piercing parlours and McDonald’s drive-thrus, Proko’s winks and grins and myriad of lighters stuck in his pockets, in Skov’s needling comments truthful just enough to hurt and Kavinsky’s possessive hands in his hair and on his still healing wrist. He’s not stupid, he knows others talk about him creating rumors that are both shocking and intriguing as they wonder what possibly he could have that Kavinsky would want. But he’s aware of the undulating mass of darkness in his stomach, poison mixed with rage and he knows Kavinsky sees it too. That’s what he wants to own, that storm, that coiled serpent of hate. 

It doesn’t bother him in the slightest. What bothers him are Gansey’s passing looks of puzzlement and pity that make his skin crawl and his lips curl into a snarl.

  
  
  


And because the world loves to make Adam Parrish suffer, he is paired up with Gansey for a World’s History project.

 

When Skov hears about it he’s ecstatic. His hair is bright magenta now and it defies every bit of the dress code there is. 

 

“Don’t you leave us now for the Aglionby’s Golden Boy, Parrish. Proko would be heartbroken”.

 

“Make sure to invite him and Lynch for the party tomorrow, yeah?” K purrs, yanking his head back by the hand in his hair. Adam mirrors his lazy smile.

 

“They never come when you invite them?”.

 

“Rude, right?” K chuckles and lets go of his hair as he sees Lynch approaching.

 

Ronan scowled at the pile of tangled limbs they formed. “Move your ass Parrish, I’m your ride”.

 

Adam pushed Jiang’s feet off his lap and followed Lynch throwing them a lazy salute.

  
  


He notices Ronan stealing glances at the tattoo on his wrist and he grins. “You want one too?”.

 

Ronan scoffs and focuses on the road again.

 

Adam has never seen Monmouth Manufacturing but now that he has, he knows why Gansey would choose to live there. It’s an enormous abandoned warehouse, eccentric enough to be expensive. He tilts his head up to the ceiling to watch sun pouring through the filthy roof windows. It’s messy, but it’s a different brand of mess than Kavinsky’s. This one is more academic, papers and ancient books laying in disarray, maps and journals all over the floor. On the desk in the corner stands a lonely mint plant and Adam scoffs incredulous.

 

“Adam”.

 

He turns around to see Gansey emerge from what he assumes is a bathroom, every bit of a student prince he always is. At the beginning of the school year it would make him bitter to see Gansey be everything Adam was not, but now it all just seems unnecessary and pretentious and entitled. He nods at Gansey and looks around.

 

“Nice”. He throws his backpack on the couch and lets himself sink into it.

 

“You want a beer?” Ronan asks from the bathroom.

 

“I don’t drink”.

 

“You roll with K but you don’t drink?” Ronan scoffs in disbelief but tosses him a can of soda.

 

Adam shrugs and catches the soda.

 

Gansey watches them pensively and suddenly Adam doesn’t want to be there any longer than he absolutely has to.

  
  
  


It ends up being three hours that Adam can’t take Gansey anymore so he gets up to stretch, groaning when his spine cracks. “Lynch, you gonna drive me back?”.

 

Ronan just sneers so Adam texts Jiang instead.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Gansey asks and though Adam doesn’t feel like humoring him, he agrees. “Why Kavinsky?”.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Lynch stiffen and grimace at the terrible lack of tact his friend displays. He can’t help but think that Ronan may be smarter than Gansey in many ways.

 

“Why not?” his face relaxes back into its default vacant state.

 

Gansey thinks about ot for a while. “You’re worth much more thank him, Adam”.

 

Ronan physically recoils and scrambles to stand up at the statement. He locks eyes with Adam and tries to squash down the unease he feels as Adam’s stare turns darker.

 

Adam on the other hand cocks his head to the side like a dog and squints. “Who are you to judge a person’s worth, Gansey? What makes you feel better than us?”.

 

Gansey seems to realise his mistake but the car honking outside breaks the tension.

 

Adam slings his backpack over his shoulder. “Come to the party tomorrow” he says and slams the door behind him.

 

“Goddamnit Dick” Ronan growls. “You just can’t shut the fuck up sometimes, can you?” he slams the door to his room aggressively and locks himself inside.

  
  
  


The party is hazy between the bass slamming against his ribcage and colorful pills Kavinsky has been feeding him the entire night. 

 

His fingers catch on Adam’s lower lip and trail along his throat, mapping the motion of his swallow. Adam can’t feel his arms so he turns to Jiang to make him light his cigarette but K tugs him back, fingers like a vice on his jaw. He exhales the smoke into Adam’s mouth and it fills him with energy again.

 

He turns away as he hears Skov yowl with wild joy.

 

“Lynch and Gansey turned up!”.

 

“I guess the invitation worked”. Kavinsky slides if the roof his the car and disappears in the crowd while Prokopenko tugs Adam away by his sleeve, leaving the partygoers behind.

 

He clicks his tongue at the way Adam stumbles gracelessly. “How many did he feed you?”.

 

Adam shrugged, unconcerned but Prokopenko pressed. “You know you don’t have to take them?”.

 

“I know”. 

 

Prokopenko raised his eyebrow unconvinced.

 

“I do! I just don’t care tonight”.

 

“Can’t argue with that” Prokopenko grins and tugs him onto the grass. Adam feels the bass shake the ground like a heartbeat.

 

“Why did you bring me here?” Adam asks, struggling to keep his eyes open as Prokopenko crawled over him.

 

“K has been awfully possessive of you nowadays” his voice sounds close but Adam can’t blink away the blurry veil that covered everything around him. “I just wanted to spend some time with you like at the beginning”.

 

Prokopenko’s voice is scratchy but sweet like honey mixed with petrol and it glades over Adam’s skin skin along with Proko’s cold fingers. He starts saying something but the words die on his lips as Prokopenko presses heated kisses to the skin of his neck.

  
  
  


When the spring break comes Adam’s carefully constructed routine of daily assignments and nightly parties falls apart, so he finds himself in the backseat of the Mitsubishi between Jiang and Proko with Skov riding shotgun. Swan ditched them to visit his cousin.

 

He has his back propped on Prokopenko and legs tangled with Jiang on the armrest between two front seats. Proko is pressing kisses to his neck and his fingers to his ribs under his shirt. He catches K’s eyes in the rearview mirror and grins lazily, loose and content from the spliff he’s sharing with Jiang. Skov is nursing a bottle of vodka in his lap and he’s staring out of the window almost catatonic.

 

They stop at a drive thru because Jiang wouldn’t shut up about it.

 

Adam is nearly non verbal so he just hopes Jiang remembers his usual order and cries a little when it turns out he does. Skov is well past the point of coherency so he just stuffs his face with fries. 

 

Adam’s head clears out little by little and he follows Jiang onto the curb couple of feet away from the car. He stretches out in the sun and accepts a cigarette.

  
  


“Something weird is going on between K and Proko” Jiang murmurs struggling to open a sauce packet. Adam sips on a milkshake that tastes like bubblegum even though it shouldn’t. “Skov’s too fucked up to break apart a fight if it happens but he will cheer loud enough for us to hear”.

 

But nothing like that happens so they squeeze back into the car and keep driving.

 

When they go back to Henrietta Skov and Jiang plan a trip on their own leaving Proko, K and Adam alone in the house. The tension between K and Proko is high and both of them are getting more and more possessive with the way they interact with Adam.

 

It unwinds at a party in a way Adam would never expect when he’s writhing in Kavinsky’s lap as the boy bites and sucks on his neck and lips, hands roaming over his thighs and Prokopenko sitting behind him, holding his wrists in a vice grip, teeth catching on his earrings, whispering lewd promises that make his blood boil with lust.

  
  


The tension breaks immediately and Jiang grins knowingly when he comes back.

 

“Did you fuck?” he howls when Adam rolls his eyes. “I knew they just wanted to fuck you, Skov owes me fifty bucks”.

  
  


“You just couldn’t keep your dick down, could you?” Skov complains as Jiang takes bills out from his wallet. “You just had to fuck him, both of you. Shit”.

 

Proko laughs and puts a shot in front of him, winking at K who tightens his grip around Adam’s hips.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
